Monday, August 29, 2016

An Open Letter to the Girls of the 21st Century // Otvoreno pismo djevojkama 21. stoljeća



Dear girls of the 21st century,

I often think about the fact that our collective value system is completely disrupted and wrong. There are more problems than there are solutions, but today I'm focusing on a pretty controversial topic among the female population.

Ever since we were children, we've been taught that beauty is pain. At least that's what my mother told me while she was trying to manage my tangled hair. Of course, she'd been told the same thing. Those words have crossed my mind countless times since then -- every appointment at the orthodontist while he tightened the wires on my braces so I could have the perfect smile; every day of high school while I was being bullied because of it; every time I pluck my eyebrows or go get waxed so I could be smooth for someone; every workout at the gym when I feel like my legs have turned to jelly from fatigue; every night out in high heels that no one can even see under the table. I could keep listing things until late into the night! Alright, all of this is a normal part of growing up as a girl. However, lately, the boundary has been so far crossed that everything has been turned upside down - important things became trivial, and rubbish has become a way of life. How can you let this happen?

I can't entirely fault you - it's all that's been promoted and placed as valuable in the past few years. As long as socialites and plastic are idols, we won't go far, that's for sure. I remember, not that long ago, that we had a grave issue with the way that women were advertised as nothing but flesh in music videos of American rappers. When and how did this become the way you girls treat yourselves? I see your Facebook and Instagram posts. I get goosebumps, and not in a good way, when I think of the fact that you're all still little girls, yet you long so hard to mature - not intellectually, but sexually. I'm speaking as I would with my own sister. Having a huge bottom so you can flaunt it on social media should not be someone's main priority in life!

Through the current trends, I've grown to hate what I used to love so much. I wrote and filmed videos about beauty, about make up, because I enjoy it. For me, it's a form of anti-stress therapy. It's not so I could look like a completely different person, not to sell myself as something I'm not, and definitely not so I could con a man into liking me, but simply because it's also a form of art and creative expression. Then I came to realize that I don't fit into what's trending. Unfortunately, this shook even my own confidence, and I'm a woman of almost 26 years of age. I've never had an issue with the way I look, and all of a sudden I'm in front of the mirror and I don't like what I see, I'm not "in". My lips aren't large enough, my eyelashes are too short, this sort-of-double chin is pissing me off, my eyelids are droopy, my breasts are small... I've let myself be discouraged by the fact that I'm not someone's copy. This is why I said I can't fault you entirely. It's everyone's fault. It's my fault as well, because I've waited this long to publicly advocate all of your originality and real values. The world doesn't need an unlimited supply of Kim Kardashian copies. More importantly, you as young women don't need to be anything else but yourselves.

I want you to realize that you are not in competition with each other. I want to see honest smiles on photos, not puckered lips. I want you to create memories that will last you a lifetime, to go find yourselves, to learn who you really are behind those walls and masks. I want you to be proud of who you are without needing anyone's approval. I want you to treat yourselves with the utmost respect and cross out anyone who doesn't understand your value from your lives. I wish you love and for them to love you for who you are inside, instead of using you because a half-naked body is all you advertise on your profiles. Also, I want you to be able to recognize what really matters in other people and pick your surroundings based on that. Material things matter deeply to shallow people only. Be bold enough to feel someone's soul, instead of peeking into their wallet. In the end, it takes a courageous woman to be vulnerable and truly alive.

You have the right to get angry at me, but enough with the fake and the twisted priorities!

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Drage djevojke 21. stoljeća,

Često razmišljam o činjenici da je naš kolektivni sistem vrijednosti u potpunosti narušen i pogrešan. Problema ima više nego rješenja, ali danas ću se fokusirati na jednu poprilično kontroverznu temu među ženskom populacijom. 

Još od malih nogu, uče nas da je ljepota bolna. Bar je meni to mama govorila dok je pokušavala izaći na kraj sa mojom zamršenom kosom. Naravno, istu stvar su govorili i njoj. Te riječi su mi pale na pamet mali million puta od tad – svaki termin kod ortodonta dok mi zateže žice od aparatića da bih imala savršen osmjeh; svaki dan srednje škole dok su me ismijavali zbog istog; svaki put kada sređujem obrve ili idem na depilaciju da bih nekome bila glatka; svaki trening u teretani kada imam osjećaj da su mi se noge pretvorile u žele od umora; svaki noćni izlazak proveden u štiklama koje se svakako ne vide jer niko ne gleda ispod stola. Mogla bih nabrajati do sitno u noć! Uredu, sve je to neki normalni dio odrastanja jedne mlade žene. Međutim, u zadnje vrijeme se granica toliko prevazišla da se sve okrenulo naopačke – bitne stvari su postale nebitne, a gluposti su postale način života. Kako to dopuštate? 

Ne mogu u potpunosti da vas krivim – ipak je to sve što se promoviše i plasira kao vrijedno zadnjih nekoliko godina. Sve dok su idoli starlete i plastika, nećemo daleko dogurati, to je sigurno. Sjećam se, ne tako davno, da smo kao spol imale veliki problem sa tim što se žene u spotovima američkih repera reklamiraju kao meso. Kako i kada je postalo prihvatljivo da same sebe tretirate na taj način? Vidim vam statuse na Facebooku i fotografije na Instagramu. Jeza me prođe kada shvatim da ste još curice, a da toliko žurite da odrastete – ne intelektualno, već seksualno. Pričam kao što bih pričala sa svojom sestrom. Imati veliku stražnjicu da bi je eksponirale na društvenim mrežama za lajkove ne bi trebalo da je nekome glavni prioritet u životu! 


Kroz današnje trendove, zamrzila sam nešto što sam jako voljela. Pisala sam i snimala o ljepoti, o šminkanju, jer uživam u tome. Za mene je to vid anti-stres terapije. Ne da bih izgledala kao potpuno drugačija osoba na kraju procesa, ne da bih se nekome prodala da sam nešto što nisam, ne da bih se krila iza maske, a definitivno ne da bih na foru upecala frajera, već jednostavno zato što je i to vid umjetnosti, način kreativnog izražavanja. 

Onda sam shvatila da se ne uklapam u to što je danas moderno. Na žalost, čak i mene, ženu od skoro 26 godina je to poljuljalo. Nikada nisam imala problem sa svojim izgledom, a odjednom se nađem ispred ogledala i ne sviđa mi se to što vidim, nisam u prokletom trendu. Usne mi nisu dovoljno velike, trepavice su mi kratke, nervira me podbradak, kapci su mi spušteni, grudi su mi male… Dopustila sam sebi da me na trenutak obori to što nisam nečija kopija. Zato kažem, niste krive samo vi. Krivi smo svi. Kriva sam ja, što tek sad koristim priliku da se javno zalažem za sve naše orginale i prave vrijednosti. Svijetu ne treba gomila preslikane Kim Kardashian, a što je još važnije, vama kao ženama ne treba da budete išta osim vas samih. 

Želim vam da shvatite da niste jedna drugoj konkurencija. Želim da vidim iskrene osmjehe na fotografijama, a ne napućene usne. Želim da stvarate uspomene za čitav život, da se pronalazite, da spoznate ko ste u suštini iza tih zidova i fasada. Želim da budete ponosne na to što jeste i da vam ne treba ničije odobrenje. Želim da se odnosite prema sebi sa najviše poštovanja, a da iz života izbacite svakoga ko ne razumije vašu vrijednost. Želim vam ljubav i da lude za vama zbog toga ko ste iznutra, a ne da vas koriste jer je polugolo tijelo sve što reklamirate na svojim profilima. Isto tako vam želim da budete u mogućnosti da spoznate prave vrijednosti kod drugih i po tome birate svoje okruženje. Materijalne stvari imaju veliku važnost samo kod plitkih ljudi. Imajte smjelosti da osjetite nečiju dušu, a ne da gledate u nečiji novčanik. Na kraju krajeva, treba biti hrabra žena da budeš ranjiva i istinski živa. 

Možete se ljutiti na mene, ali dosta lažnjaka i iskrivljenih prioriteta! 





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